Know the Score: Top Five YouTube Music Videos (plus, Patreon!)

This month's Know the Score is a tribute to all the wonderful, time-wasting, toe-tapping brilliance that can be found on YouTube.



And guess, what, I have a Patreon account now!  If you have a few extra dollars just cluttering up your wallet, why not put them towards the best in demonic musical geeks ranting about terrible films?  And if you don't have a few extra dollars...no worries, just keep watching, commenting, and sharing like usual!

MHTV: I Would Do Anything For Love

So I'm trying something new (well, new for me) today: MHTV (Musical Hell Telelvision)!  In the style of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or if you prefer, Beavis and Butthead) I will take a notable music video and have at it.  Up first: a delicious slice of vintage Jim Steinman cheese with Meat Loaf, the 90s hit "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)"!  Bon appetit!



Musical Hell TV-I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) from Christi Esterle on Vimeo.

YouTube Capping: The First Man You Remember

It's time for another YouTube Capping video! Today's subject is the poofy-haired Michael Ball singing Generic Andrew Lloyd Webber Ballad #623, aka "The First Man You Remember!"

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YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

So...my dad?

Last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again...

It's such a lovely day-for-night out...

Wait...Rick Astley? He did more than one video?

"Hey, give me my scarf back! I'm freezing!"

Can the moon actually go nova?

Meanwhile, at a funeral in 1985...

Gilda Radner!

Cut, cut! Could the drunken mime clear the set?

o/...to do you up the backdoor...o/

Seriously, do they just not notice the Dread Pirate Roberts doing the Jerk back there?

"Hey, hey, I paid the dime for this dance!"

Everybody VOGUE!

She's like a less emotive Sarah Brightman...

"I also want to go to a party that doesn't have its own modern dance troupe."

"Okay." *kicks her legs out from under her*

"Even when I'm craving a Frosty at eleven at night?"
"Let's not get too hasty."

So, you want him to give you arrhythmia?

All right, Bebe Neuwirth, I'm cutting you off and calling a cab...

This must be what Bob Fosse's nightmares looked like.

"Wow, that was one fuckin' weird party!"

o/...Drifting, falling, floating weightless...o/

"Which explains the huge tsunami!"

She's pigeon-elbowed!

"Would you settle for being the first one I drunk dial?"

The mall security is going to be pissed when they see these two screwing around in the fountain...

"How romantic, it feels like we're walking on a plastic table barely underneath the water!"

Amy Yasbeck and Dustin Hoffman: A Love Story

Isn't the first man you remember usually the loser you're thankful you broke up with?

Capped by TheDiva
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com
MusicalHell.Blogspot.com

Super-Sized Random Crap

One of the best things about the Internet is that it allows you to dig up those random bits of media that would otherwise have you thinking “Was that real, or the product of some strange dream I had as a kid?” Over on the That Guy With the Glasses community blogs, JMShearer has posted an article on my personal favorite bit of weird nostalgia, Kidd Video. If you're not a child of the 80s and/or have never seen this series, go look it up on YouTube because it is some of the strangest WTF-ery you will ever witness. (Sadly, complications involving the rights for the music videos featured in the show mean the series will never see the light of DVD.) A couple years ago, I did a YouTube Caption of one of the weirder episodes. I'm thinking I may have to do another one.

The musicalization of mid-grade 90s movies continues with the announcement that Anything Goes and Nice Work If You Can Get It director Kathleen Marshall will stage an adaptation of the Drew Barrymore Cinderella-riff Ever After. I have a lingering fondness for the film, so I'm a bit more curious about this idea than I have been for other movies-turned-musicals lately. If they can write a decent score for it (which is a pretty big “if” given the recent track record for this sort of thing) it could be very good. Though thanks to the original trailer, the movie is inextricably linked with “Mummer's Dance” in my mind.

On the inverse of the movie-musical adaptation coin, a film version of Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty's farce Lucky Stiff has been announced, with Christopher Ashley directing and Jason Alexander playing a major role. I'm a bit (pleasantly) surprised by this news, as I didn't think this was a musical popular enough to catch Hollywood's attention. I don't know if it can adapt well to film—it's a very broad and frequently silly show (though in a good way), and will almost certainly invite comparisons to Weekend at Bernie's--but I would like to see them try. Maybe if they succeed, we can see a big-screen version of Ragtime...

As mentioned last week, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Gary Barlow have released their Diamond Jubilee tribute “Sing” today. The press release identifies the pair as “two of the UK's greatest living songwriters,” although the sub-”We Are the World” anthem they've produced would appear to contest that claim. Anyway, here's the video if you're curious, or if you just want to see African tribal children droning “Just sing” for what feels like ten minutes.

And just because it's so darn fun, here's the cast of Anything Goes lip synching to a One Direction song.

You Tube Captioning: Everybody (Backstreet's Back)

Here's the first of my YouTube Captioning blog posts! Children of the 90s may remember the Backstreet Boys, where were one of roughly sixty million boy bands floating around the pop charts at the time. Here's my take on their video "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" in which the blandly pretty boys go all Thriller on several classic movie monsters (three of whom inspired musicals to varying degrees of success). Don't forget to check out the YouTube Captioning Blog, and be sure to come back next Monday for an all-new Musical Hell Review!

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YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

Oh great, another live action Scooby-Doo movie.

"I turned up the radio to mask the rattling noise and everything!"

Quit trying to act! You're all embarrassing yourselves!

He is this close to being a minstrel show.

"Right after my Steppin' Fetchit routine!"

Eh, could be worse. Could be a Motel 6.

Dracula's brides come in, then decide they're not that hungry.

"What the....AJ?"

Meanwhile, at Hogwarts...

He's become Grizabella from Cats!

"Damn, puberty hit fast!"

Kristen Stewart?

Oh my mistake, this woman has pigment.

And now it's a Criss Angel routine...

And he's instantly got Gerard Butler beat.

Wes Craven's Ratatouille

"Have you tried the live rats? They're marvelous!"

I don't know the air-speed velocity of an overladen swallow, if that's what you want.

Pimp Daddy Lon Chaney Jr.

Did...did you just ask your fanbase of twelve-year-old girls "Am I sexual?"

o/...For I'll live inside you forever...o/

Damn, white monsters can't dance.

This is a fan trailer for Tim Burton's Dark Shadows, right?

Um, no. No, it's not all right.

"Ow, my back!"

"Yo, yo, where my angels of music at?"

What if I don't care enough to wave my hands?

The thing from The Abyss gets a cameo!

Is she entranced, or bored?

Was there much rejoicing?
"Yeah."

"Wheee!"

So Mr. Hyde was actually some kind of fish creature?

If you rock your body wrong, see a chiropractor.

Somewhere a wrap fetishist is getting off on those girls.

Is the backing track losing battery power?

It's a prom attended entirely by Harlequin Romance cover models!

Imhotep's in da house!

Is that a threat?

Sweating bats is one of the lesser-known vampire powers.

So, this video is basically a cross between "Thriller," the Universal Monsters, and Teen Beat.

Still, it was nice of Tim Burton to let them shoot in his foyer.

Do the Awkward Geek!

"Now, on the floor for leg lifts! And one, and two..."

"Fear my open shirt!"

"No, if I hit puberty my career will be over!"

"I dreamed that Michael Jackson sued us..."

"I had a terrible dream too! We were in a framing scene for a video, and they forced us to recite lines!"

"We are confessing the homoerotic ones, right?"

"I'm your bus driver now!"

Capped by TheDiva
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com
MusicalHell.Blogspot.com

Yet More Random Crap

Lea Michele, Bernadette Peters and Megan Hilty did a promotional blurb for ET regarding her new movie Dorothy of Oz, which comes out....sometime in the next year, I guess? The film looks kind of meh, but it's amusing to watch Michele try to describe the experience of “working” with Peters and Hilty when none of them were, you know, actually in a studio together at any time.

Earlier this week, I posted the first half of my list of favorite musicals. (I'm not posting a link because, you know, you can just scroll to the next post down.) Among those discussed was the American Playhouse version of Into the Woods, which I saw during my formative musical geek years. So I was surprised to discover Danielle Ferland, who performed the role of Little Red Riding Hood in that production, is now starring in a regional version of Into the Woods...as the Baker's wife. God, now I feel old.

And now Glee and Rock of Ages need to step down, because I have found the ultimate rendition of “Don't Stop Believin'.” (Fun game: watch this once to see how many movies you recognize, then hit the CC button for a list of the sources.)



And speaking of fun stuff on YouTube, in addition to posting my rambling opinions here I also contribute to the YouTube Captioning blog, which produces gag subs of various YouTube postings that really, really deserve them. I'll be cross-posting some relevant videos here in the future, to provide more material for my loyal readers (both of you). In the meantime, here's blog owner SpaceToast's very funny captioning of some J-Pop weirdness. Enjoy!

Random Crap Around the Web This Week

So, apparently Whitney Houston finished a movie before her sudden and tragically premature death in February? It's true! Called Dreamgirls: The Next Generation Sparkle, it's about three singing sisters pursuing the dream of showbusiness cliche movies. Houston plays the girls' mother, a singing star past her prime who...um, is there anything I can say right now that won't draw the "too soon" card? Didn't think so. Watch the trailer.



And speaking of showbusiness cliche movies, Rock of Ages released its second trailer this week and...I still don't know what to make of it. On the one hand, Adam Shankman's Hairspray was one of the better musical movies in recent history, and it looks like this one shares the same energy and affectionate parody for the zeitgeist of a specific era. On the other hand, it's a jukebox musical. On the other hand, it has the wonderful Catherine Zeta-Jones in her first film musical since Chicago. On the other hand, it's also got the massively irritating Alec Baldwin. On the other hand, Baldwin probably won't be selling credit cards in this movie so maybe he'll be tolerable. On the other hand, it's also got the also massively irritating Tom Cruise. On the other hand, I'll stop doing my Tevye impersonation and let you watch the trailer.



So, have you ever seen one of those cheesy badly acted cruise ship shows and thought, "You know what this needs? Dancing Vikings and some 1950s-esque teenagers who are there for no discernible reason!" Thanks to Disney Cruise's new show Wishes (by way of Tangled), your prayers have been answered.



And finally, because some things are just too cool to snark at, here's the latest video from Doctor Horrible co-creator Jed Whedon and all-around geek goddess Felicia Day. "It gets better" never sounded so kickass.